Thursday, March 1, 2012

Mommy Guilt

Currently, I have been wracked with a ton of Mommy guilt!  Since I am on lifting restrictions, I cannot pick up anything heavier than Ladybug.  Six weeks of recovery is a very long time and a very hard adjustment for Sweetpea.  To make matters worse, she came down with a stomach virus and wanted her Mommy to hold her and cuddle.  Sweetpea could sit next to me and rock but I could not put her to bed or hold her on my lap.  Even as my rational side argued, I was assuaged with guilt, tons and tons of Mommy guilt, for what I cannot do.
As the guilt threatens to overtake me and bring me way down, I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9.  "And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”"  This verse was one I would cling to the last few weeks of pregnancy when I felt like I could not go on any longer.  His Grace was sufficient to keep me humble when I would lose my patience with Buddy and Sweetpea.  And His Grace will be sufficient to allow me to work through this hard time in parenting and adjustment in our household. 
The weakness that I feel right now allows me to lean on His strength and trust that God has given me Buddy, Sweetpea, and Ladybug.  He knew that I would be parenting them and that I would be feeling this guilt.  His strength is given when mistakes are made, when tempers are lost, and when guilt threatens to drown out all reason.  There is grace in knowing that Sweetpea will not remember this time and grace in knowing that she will still love me as Mommy anyway.  Guilt cannot keep its hold on me when I repeat 2 Corinthians 12:9 to myself several times a day.  "My grace is sufficient for you."

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