Thursday, November 18, 2010

Balancing Expectations

When I was pregnant with my first baby, J, our church at the time threw me a baby shower.  A baby shower is an awesome event...good fellowship, adorable baby stuff, and, of course, cake!  As I sat enjoying my cake and just enjoying life, I overheard some older women discussing the pastor's children in a very negative light.  They went on to discuss how they thought the pastor and his wife did not parent very well.  My heart began to sink as the reality of parenting while doing ministry set in. 

What pressure to know that people in the future would be discussing J and how Jon and I choose to parent.  I resolved then and there to always make their discussion positive. 

After J was about 10 months old, I realized I was driving myself and Jon, my husband, crazy trying to be the "perfect" mommy with the "perfect" son.  Something had to give and I decided to give up trying to please people and start focusing on pleasing God.  He is the One who gave us J, and now H, to raise and to nurture.  He is the One that holds Jon and me accountable. 

My focus now is to raise J to be a Godly man and H to be a Godly woman.  J is only two and H is almost 8 months old but even now we are introducing them to Biblical truths.  That may look crazy in the world's eye and a lot of people may think Jon and I are wrong, but I know that God our Father is pleased.

P.S. If you are a pastor's wife, or engaged to a pastor, In Our Shoes: Real life Issues for Ministers' Wives by Rachel Lovingood and Jennifer Landrith is an awesome book that I wish I had read sooner. 

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